thoughts of randomness.

This morning we are being lazy.  Seth went fishing and I didn't have the energy to get myself and Delia ready and to church on time.  Plus, I've been taking advantage of her sleeping until 8 this week.  Since my nights are now interrupted with several trips to the bathroom and much tossing and turning, the extra sleep has been needed. 

A couple weeks ago we were at Ollie's and they had a triple feature Veggies Tales DVD for about $5.  Since we didn't own any, I bought it for Delia.  What a mistake.  It is the only thing she wants to watch.  As a parent, there's only so much Madame Blueberry and Esther you can take.  :/ 

Living on one income means letting go of certain "luxuries" you used to have with two incomes.  For me, that has been shopping for the sake of shopping.  I've really had the urge the past 2 days to just go shopping and buy some things for myself, but of course that's not really an option.  I hope the urge passes soon.

Delia is really turning into a goofy little girl.  Occasionally she will makes faces or sounds, or just do things that are just funny.  She's also trying to repeat more words in the past few weeks.  I can't believe how much she's growing up.  She's not very shy, will "talk" to most people we see and loves the water, bubbles and climbing on things.  She keeps me busy. 

troubles.

Sometimes I feel like the only consistency in my life is my relationships.  I mean if I had to choose, I would want that to be it, but it can be frustrating when it seems that other things are always changing.  My working outside the house to "stay at home mom" status seems to be one of the things that flip flops back and forth which makes me hate to talk about it.  I've been trying hard to make something work where I'm not away from my daughter.  For whatever reason, in my life at this time, it's not working.  I hate that.  I hate that I can't make it work.  I hate that it's not easier for mothers to just stay home with their children.  It used to not even be an issue.  Now it's nearly impossible for some people.

So that being said, I am yet again job searching.  I don't know how hard it will be now that I'm pregnant although I'm hoping that will not affect my chances too much.  I did have an interview yesterday morning and I'm waiting expectantly for a call back.  I can only hope it's that easy though.  In the meantime, I guess I'll just focus on the relationships.

cliches.

Tonight I was making dinner in our hot kitchen, listening to Delia play in the living room and then later washing all the dishes by hand (because we don't have a dishwasher) and it occurred to me that I was quite literally "barefoot and pregnant".  The funny thing is, as I thought about it I realized I was perfectly happy as well.  There are so many ways that my life could be better by the worlds standards, but I am content right now, today, and in this moment.  I have so much to be thankful for. 

pausing for a moment.

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new."  - Rajneesh

There are many times when I think on my time spent being a mother thus far and the many years I have ahead of me.  So many words come to mind to describe what it's like, but in reality, you can't explain it to another person fully.  They have to experience it for themselves.  I feel that it's quite obvious through my life how much I love being a mom and I can only hope and pray that my children will always feel that and see it reflected in my eyes. 

Happy Mothers Day.

she knows who i am.

So, of course Delia knows who I am.  I carried her for 9 months, gave birth to her, nursed her, rocked her in the middle of the night, etc.  But now, after trying for quite some time, she finally addresses me as "mama".  Not only that, but she yells it when she's hungry or mad or upset.  Funny.  It seems like so long I waited for her to say it, and now I'm afraid it's all I'll hear.  Still brings a smile to my face.  :)

new baby.

Well, the news is officially out.  Yes, we are expecting again!  Instead of turning this blog into all things baby, I have decided to create and dedicate a new blog to that.  So if you are interested in reading about my pregnancy you will find it here:

http://turkeyontheway.blogspot.com/

:)

a happy birthday.

On Saturday was my husband's 30th birthday.  One pro to being married to an "older man" is that he will hit the milestones before me.  :)  For those of you who don't know Seth very well, he's not big on celebrations.  He doesn't like to be the center of attention and he definitely doesn't like to make a big deal about his own birthday.  I asked him a few times if he wanted something this year since it was his 30th and he told me no every time.  Sooo, I listened.  He spent most of the day doing one of his favorite things:  fishing (with no complaining or nagging about it from me).  At night we went out to dinner at The Texas Roadhouse (also a plus for me since it's one of my favorite restaurants too).  At this point I veered from his request slightly.  I had arranged for his family and part of mine to gather at our house while we were out.  His *surprise* was ice cream cake with them when we got back.  Nothing major but still a small celebration of this man and what he means to all of us.  I'm not one to get publicly mushy about him, and I don't plan on doing that now, but I will say a few things about him and us. 

We sort of have this joke between us that "we got married in a fever...."  Seth and I met in May 2005, were basically inseparable after a date or two, engaged by January 2006 and married in August of that same year.  We both knew pretty instantly that we wanted to be together and we didn't see any point in waiting to be married.  Our years together have been up and down as relationships typically are but mostly filled with good.  Seth is a lot of things that I'm not.  He's calm, patient and tends to be more reserved.  He has a knack for making me laugh even if I'm mad at him.  He doesn't take life too seriously.  He is a great provider, partner, friend and confidante.  I have never for a second regretted my decision to live life with him.  And now for some mush...I know I don't say it often enough but Seth, I love you and I love our life together.  Happy 30th Birthday (a few days late).  I look forward to many more milestones together.