being a good mom. {what it means to me}

I was going to say "being a healthy mom" but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the words are basically interchangeable in my head right now.  What does it mean to be a good mom?  I'm sure most people would agree on some of the same ideas....loving, caring, engaging with your child, teaching them new things, etc.  Right now for me though, being a good mom also means being a healthy mom and being a healthy mom encompasses my spiritual, mental, emotional and physical well being.  I've really been focusing lately on how that looks in my life.  I don't want to just survive through the days of life with young children.  I want to be present.  Of course not all days go according to plan.  In fact, I just suffered through 30 minutes of an exercise DVD (while sick) with multiple interruptions complete with a crying episode.  Why?  Because I did not give Delia what she wanted right at that moment.  At times like that I think, it's just not worth trying to fit in a workout when these are the consequences.  And then I automatically disagree with myself.  Because it IS worth it.  The benefits of extra energy, improving my body physically plus the self confidence boost I get just by sticking to a routine for myself are very worth the 30 minutes of typical toddler behavior.  I'm not able to workout every day, but if I aim for it, I can usually do 5 out of 7 days.  I've also realized that being a good mom actually requires a small bit of selfishness.  I know this sounds contradicting.  Parenting is self sacrificing every day, every night but sometimes, if only for a half hour, it's good to demand a small amount of me time.  This coming week I'm starting my first yoga class.  I'm excited and nervous.  I've always wanted to do it and just never got around to it.  I think maybe it's time to do something for myself though, so that I can be better for my family.  I see yoga as having 2 benefits.  The obvious is that it's good for my body.  The second is that it allows me an hour of me time each week, and I can mentally focus inward.  I have a natural tendency to get worked up quickly, and I'm thinking this might help me defuse that at least a little bit.  I'll update on that after a few classes.  I know there will still be many days when I'm just counting down the hours until bed time because no one got enough sleep the night before, all I've heard is fighting and crying, and I just don't want to do what I"m expected to do.  In fact, I had one of those weeks last week.  So please realize how totally imperfect I am at this job.  Becoming a parent doesn't mean all your old tendencies just disappear.  Over time they pull at you less often, but I'd be lying if I said that I don't wake up some days and just wish that I could stay right there in bed and do nothing.  I love my children to the moon and back, and I wouldn't change their existence but I need to take a moment each day for myself if possible.  Some days that might be as little as drinking a cup of coffee while it's still hot or maybe I just sit and read instead of folding that laundry.  Admittedly, during my rough week last week, I read a lot and it helped to lose myself in someone else's world.  The point is, no matter what it looks like in my life, I want it to exist.  That way I can be a better version of myself and therefore a better mom for my babies.  This is an idea that is still evolving for me....but I can't wait to see where it goes.